Dr Kathy Weston's tips for Children's Mental Health Week

The theme of Place2Be’s Children’s Mental Health Week 2025 is ‘Know yourself, grow yourself’. Dr Kathy Weston, founder of Tooled Up Education, writes about how parents can support their child’s self-awareness, resilience and empowerment in the home. 

Parents, did you know that resilience is rooted in children’s self-knowledge and understanding?

Children who feel psychologically anchored and experience a secure attachment to their caregivers often possess a strong sense of self and self-worth. Children who are taught to recognise their own strengths rather than compare themselves to others are much more likely to thrive emotionally and academically. Self-knowledge isn’t just about understanding all the things we are good at; it is also about noticing where we are struggling and feeling comfortable asking others for help. When we know ourselves well, we can spot things that are making us feel bad and take steps to tackle them.  

Perhaps a child is struggling with some maths homework and suddenly a ‘Gremlin’ thought pops into their head that tells them they are “rubbish at maths” and are “no good at anything”. If children are taught to spot such unkind and unhelpful thoughts, they can also be taught to challenge them. Self-understanding is fuelled by self-compassion; we can teach our children to be consistently kind towards the person in the mirror. It is something we can model at home and something that we can nudge them towards during times when they might find learning tricky or where they might be tempted to compare themselves to others.  

We can support children’s self-acceptance through the way in which we interact with and praise our children. If we focus on their performance in tests and exam scores, they can sometimes feel that this is what we value above all else and their self-worth may become unhelpfully wrapped up in results. Instead, if we value their persistence, effort and commitment to progress, we give our children a chance to really thrive. When children are given the chance to make mistakes, without fear of the consequences, they are given conditions within which they can thrive optimally.  

Conditions at home can support a child’s ability to thrive and contribute to their attitudes to learning too. If children are parented authoritatively (showing love, but also setting limits), they are given a better chance of becoming more resilient and socially competent and are less likely to experience anxiety or depression as they grow up. Integral to an authoritative parenting style is being attuned to our children’s needs, but also to what makes them tick! By paying attention to aspects of the world that capture their imaginations and interest, we can begin to support and nurture who they are as individuals. If a child expresses a curiosity in all things related to ‘space’ for example, parents might talk more about this topic at home, give them access to books related to this theme and bring them along to events or exhibitions that can enrich their knowledge. By caring about areas of life that our children are innately drawn to, we are nurturing their sense of self and ultimately boosting their self-esteem.  

If you would like to learn more about the power of parental engagement in children’s learning and exam preparation, check out the Parent Power Toolkit, four sets of incredible resources designed for parents by Tooled Up Education.  

You can also explore ISEB’s free Prepare for Admissions Interviews masterclass and resources. Empower your child by developing their interview skills and building their confidence for this important step in the senior schools admissions process.